carpe diem skin
I’ve been up for like 48hrs straight. This has been the second time I’ve chased dreams this hard, this week. To truly understand the vino of our dreams truth, the halos stumbling hangovers in our veins, it doesn’t take much; given enough whiskey and anyone could watch a fist full of this worlds why’s just fall away. We’re animal crackers gone zoo. We’ve become everything that they fear. We were born of the very same breaths that birth the stars, and we’ve been killing ourselves along this ask-fault called Life, attempting to solar flare our way back home.
The pages of our histories have almost always stuck together, like I really wish we could. In the toddler tickle of yesterdays’ tomorrow we’ve slid busted condoms over ring fingers as if marrying a sexy pair of eyes, in love with love and looking for a beautiful moment, would actually set us free. How come the breakup songs we hold and cherish so close in our hearts are almost always found in the basement of some bottle, Dawn?
Question: How come I haven’t found a mirror I’ve learned to trust yet?
Answer: You’ve never learned to trust in mirrors because given enough time they’ve all lied to you in the end. Or maybe, just maybe, we need to unlearn our squander of love. I fear our hearts have become lighthouses and our heaven on earth only exists in loose leafs, that only god knows how to edit. And I believe, sincerely, we’re all fucked, if our god doesn’t speak English. Epic Dawn, I am more willing to crack a smile in your now. But only if you’ve finally learned to fuck and fight as if it’s all you’ve ever had. For all we really are, and all we’ve really become are simple scenes in one vagabond’s dream.
I’ve buried more skeletons in my closet than Alabama put cotton and niggaz in the ground. I swear you wear my Marine Corps dog tags as if we could fuck the heat of war right from the outskirts of our mind. Passion is the place where you first learned to walk in yourself and we’ve both been running hot ever since then. Somehow in the smolder of us, it’s unbecoming and okay. If the learn of let go and learn something new doesn’t happen soon, I fear true love and happiness will elope into forever without us.
Truth truly needs us to know, that our truths are anything we truly believe in, even if it’s a lie. There are pastors and automated teller machines in the church. They are always willing to accept our life’s credit cards. Sins, insufficient funds, and overdraft fees are alter-calling you to buy your way into heaven. Never mind pains are burdening the lent furnishing our pockets. Never mind the long nights that become a series of heart broke. Dusk, you have always been the only Concrete Gorilla strong enough to beat freedoms’ chest back into a beautiful shape. I’ve watched you beautify and become born again in the dark. Branches and family trees will place set prayers for paved men like you.
Within the gorgeous of your rise, I rediscovered you.
You left this poem on my desktop to read.
Forever it will be left in my heart, my love.
Cigarettes for breakfast
A tall boy for lunch
Jack Daniels for dinner
It still ain’t enough I got a closet in my pocket
A stomach full of whys
A never-ending cyclone
You’re scrapping up my eyes (I)’s Nothing seems to matter
No one keeps me full
Untie knots in my stomach
I’m tired of playing cool Just give me a constellation
Don’t paint me a pretty lie
Just give me one reason
To not want to die Oh Love
Don’t be so cruel
I’ll break all your rules…
Gravity is the
only god some of us have
down here: Your Sunset.
photography by sam mohan
photo assistants: nimish jain & nikhil velpanur
stylist: meghna bhalla
HAMU: brendon degee
featuring carol gracias
shot at the zuri hotel, goa, india